GILCHRIST

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A Decade of Healing: How a Gilchrist Spousal Grief Support Group Became Lifelong Friends

October 21, 2024, Counseling and Support Patient Stories, Grief, Volunteers

From Grief to Connection

When Bud Piff and Judi Keys joined Gilchrist’s spousal grief support group in 2014, they had no idea how profoundly it would shape their lives. Both were navigating the heartbreak of recent losses—Bud’s wife and Judi’s husband passed away just two days apart. Like the rest of the group, they had all lost their spouses before joining. While they initially sought help coping with their grief, the group quickly became much more than a source of emotional support. As Judi reflects, “The grief support group was wonderful.” Surrounded by others who truly understood their pain, the bond they formed was so strong that, even after the sessions ended, the group continued to meet monthly—and has now been doing so for ten years. Bud and Judi now speak as representatives on behalf of the whole group, sharing their journey and the impact it has had on their lives.

From Public Meetings to Private Gatherings

Initially, the group met in public places, gathering at restaurants to share their grief and offer support. Over time, they began rotating meetings in each other’s homes, creating a more private and comfortable space for reflection and healing. This change fostered a deeper sense of intimacy, allowing the group to speak more openly about their loved ones and the difficult journey of moving forward.

Ten Years of Friendship, Laughter, and Loss: The Journey Together

Over the past decade, Bud, Judi, and their seven remaining group members have shared both moments of joy and deep sorrow. They celebrated weddings, traveled together, supported each other through job searches, and watched one another’s children grow and succeed. “We’ve seen each other through it all,” Judi recalls, noting how the group rallied around one member who faced the sudden loss of her husband, job challenges, and raising two children. Together, they celebrated her victories—finding a great job and seeing her children thrive—while supporting one another through each new stage of life.

Yet, the group also faced more heartbreaking losses, with two members passing away. Despite this, their bond has only grown stronger. Recently, they reunited after the pandemic for a special 10th-anniversary celebration. Reflecting on the reunion, Bud shared, “When we got together, it was like no time had passed.” The group’s connection, forged through shared grief and support, remains as strong as ever.

Finding Purpose Through Volunteering: Bud and Judi’s Journey at Gilchrist

Bud and Judi’s connection to Gilchrist didn’t end with the grief support group—it led them to volunteer as a way to give back. A year after his wife’s death, Bud, with a background in behavioral science, began co-facilitating grief groups at Gilchrist, helping others navigate their grief while continuing his own healing. He also visited patients at home until the pandemic paused those visits.

Judi started volunteering in 2019, visiting patients weekly and building close relationships with families. When the pandemic hit, she shifted to office work, even distributing PPE to staff. Now, she serves as an end-of-life doula at the Towson Center, helping families through their final moments together. Bud and Judi agree that volunteering at Gilchrist has been one of the most rewarding experiences of their lives, allowing them to give back while creating lasting friendships.

Looking Forward: Building on a Decade of Healing

Bud and Judi are excited to stay connected with Gilchrist as their group looks to the future. They’re already discussing gathering again between Thanksgiving and the winter holidays. Judi hopes to return to in-home visits soon, as she misses the close connections formed with patients and families. Both are grateful for the support and community they’ve found through Gilchrist.

Bud’s advice to those considering a grief support group or volunteering is simple: “Don’t hesitate. Get involved.” He emphasizes how transformative it can be—not just for individuals but also for their families. For Bud and Judi, Gilchrist has become more than a hospice—it’s a place where lifelong bonds are made, and healing continues long after grief.

To learn more about Gilchrist’s Grief Support Groups, visit https://gilchristcares.org/services/counseling-support/. To learn more about volunteering, visit https://gilchristcares.org/volunteer/.

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