Hospice Around the Table: Conversations to Have at Thanksgiving

For many families, Thanksgiving is one of the few times each year when loved ones gather around the same table. Between the laughter, memories, and shared traditions, it can also be the perfect time to talk about something that matters deeply: what kind of care you or your loved ones would want in the future if faced with a serious illness.

At Gilchrist, we know these conversations aren’t always easy. But talking about your wishes before a health crisis happens is one of the greatest gifts you can give your family. It brings peace of mind, ensures your values are honored, and can prevent difficult decisions later on. Think of it as an act of love: sharing your wishes so others aren’t left guessing.

Why These Conversations Matter

Advance care planning is about more than paperwork; it’s about taking charge of your healthcare story. Nationally, research shows that while 90% of people say it’s important to talk to loved ones about end-of-life care, only 27% have actually had that conversation. Likewise, 80% of individuals say they’d like to discuss their medical preferences with their doctor if faced with serious illness, yet only 7% have done so.

These numbers show how often our intentions don’t match our actions—but holidays like Thanksgiving offer a rare chance to change that. With everyone gathered together, you can begin these meaningful discussions in a comfortable, familiar setting.

The Importance of Planning Ahead

Imagine you had a stroke, an accident, or a sudden serious illness that left you incapable of making medical decisions. Without an advance directive, doctors will either make these decisions for you or, in the best case, look to your family to make them. Would your family know your wishes? Or would they struggle with the weight of these decisions—perhaps even long after the decision is made?

By thinking about your wishes now and documenting them, you free your family from the burden of having to make these difficult choices in the moment. It helps eliminate disagreement between loved ones and lessens worry, guilt, and regret—allowing them to focus on what truly matters: loving and supporting you.

Starting the Conversation

You don’t have to dive in with medical details or paperwork. Instead, begin with simple questions or reflections:

• “I’ve been thinking about what matters most to me if I ever get really sick…”
• “Have you ever thought about who would make medical decisions for you if you couldn’t?”
• “I read about advance directives the other day—it made me wonder if our family has ever talked about that.”

Sometimes, sharing a story helps open the door. You might recall how a relative’s illness was handled or how someone’s choices inspired you. The goal is not to have all the answers that day, but to start the dialogue.

What to Talk About

When families begin discussing end-of-life care, a few key topics can help guide the conversation:

• Values and Priorities: What makes life meaningful? What gives you comfort?
• Health Care Preferences: Would you want life-prolonging treatments if recovery is unlikely?
• Decision Makers: Who would speak for you if you couldn’t speak for yourself?
• Documents: Do you have an advance directive, living will, or medical power of attorney? If not, who could help you create one?

Gilchrist’s hospice and palliative care teams regularly help families navigate these very questions. Our social workers can provide information and resources to help document and communicate your wishes clearly.

What is an Advance Directive?

An advance directive is a legal document that outlines your medical care wishes and names someone to make decisions on your behalf if you cannot. It can include instructions about life-sustaining treatments, organ donation, and after-death wishes—and can be updated anytime as your life and health change.

Let Gilchrist Help

Advance care planning doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Gilchrist’s hospice and palliative care teams are here to support you every step of the way—with compassionate guidance, educational materials, and help documenting your wishes.

This Thanksgiving, take a moment between the turkey and the pie to reflect on what really matters and share that with the people you love most. Because planning ahead isn’t just about preparing for the end. It’s about making sure every moment, right up to the last, is filled with meaning, comfort, and connection.

For tools and resources, visit:
www.gilchristcares.org/services/elder-medical-care/advance-care-planning